I hope everyone had a good Christmas despite the much-hyped catastrophe we’re still calling an economy. I came out pretty well, as cold-hearted conservatives often do, managing to steal some rather succulent candy from a baby as well as cashing in on my illicit oil contracts well before the bottom fell out of the market. Speaking of which, when can we expect our personal bailout checks to arrive– is it January 20th or do we have to wait till the 21st? I don’t want to cramp our Messiah’s style when he gets into office, but I’d like my share of “hope” before too long. I’d hate to get behind on the mortgages of my seven homes.
Actually, it might be a good thing. Then he can just pick up the tab on those as well. If we’re no longer kicking people out during the holiday season, who’s to say that it’s any less cruel to kick me to to the curb with St. Patrick’s Day right around the corner?
Here’s hoping your resolution isn’t to stop drinking.
