I like big butts (Herman Cain scandal edition)

As the world explodes with continuing developments on the Herman Cain sexual harassment scandal, I though it would be a great opportunity to show support for Herman Cain’s economic policy while getting a little play out of the sultry side of the 999 plan.

Ahem, without further ado, Herman Cain’s I like big buts (cuts)…

*talking*
Oh my god.
Mitt, look at his cuts.
They’re so big.
He looks like one of those tea partiers.
They only like him because he talks off the cuff.
He’s such an outsider.

*rap*
I like big cuts and I cannot lie.
You other brothers can’t deny
That when a girl talks cutting waste
and tax cuts in your face
You get sprung
Wanna talk it tough
Cuz you know these cut real stuff
Not empty like the suits they’re wearing
Wrote books that’ve got them glaring
Oh, ‘merica I wanna get with ya
And show you conservative stricture
Other CEOs tried to warn me
But that freedom you got
Love me some old glory
Ooh, can’t have paper thin skin
Get bludgeoned by the MSM lens
Interview me, view me cuz I don’t make average newsy

I see them panderin’
Each one of them slanderin’
America sweet, neat, tired of a Pres who tweets

I’m tired of magazines
Sayin’ enhancing revenue is the thing
Take the average American and ask ‘em that
wanna to take their country back

So GOPers (yeah) GOPers (yeah)
Will your candidate made the cuts? (hell yeah)
Well Excel it, Excel it, Excel it, Excel it, Excel those deficit projections
Hermie makes cuts

Economic pie round and big
Like we made the pizzas at my old gig
I just can’t help myself
I’m actin like an animal
Now here’s my scandal

I wanna get your GDP goin’
And UH, double up UH UH
I aint talkin bout double dip
Fix medicare so you can get that replacement hip
I wannem real thick and juicy
So find that juicy double
Cainiac’s in trouble
Beggin to put an end to economic bubbles
So I’m lookin’ at Barack’s videos
More czar positions than Hitchcock cameos
You can have them czars
I won’t get economic advice from stars
A word to the palanistas
I wanna get with ya
I won’t Huntsman or Mitt ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna –
Walk the White House lawn
My cuts got it goin on
Alot of pundits won’t like this song
Cuz them talking heads lie to keep the TV on
But I’d rather stay and play
Cuz I’m long and I’m strong
And I’m down to get the recovery on

So 99%s (yeah), 99%s (yeah)
Do you wanna own a Mercedes? (yeah)
Then ditch the Mao
Drop Che out
Even Tim Geithner got to shout
Hermie’s got cuts

Yeah GOPers
When it comes to policy
The grey lady ain’t got nothin’ to do with my convictions
9-9-9

So your candidate bankrolls the Chevy Volt
Doesn’t like any defensive tools made by Colt
But Obama don’t roll in a Volt, his Canadian RV don’t need no jolts

My economic plan don’t want none unless you’ve got cuts Luntz
You can do healthcare or flat tax setups, but please don’t lose those cuts
Some Boehner ‘swanna play that hard role
And tell you that the cuts ain’t sold
So they toss it and leave it
And I pull up quick to retrieve it
America, Michelle says you’re fat
Well I ain’t down with that
Cuz your tax rates could be small and your economy could be kickin
It’d be around eight years I’d be thinking about stickin
To the faux economists in the magazines
You aint it miss thing
Give America full employment I can’t resist her
Ayn Rand would miss her
Joe Biden tried to dis
Cuz the average American is on my list
Obama had game but he chose to demagogue ‘em
And played moderate to get with ‘em
So voters if the cuts are sound
And you wanna economic theory throw down
Dial 1-999-CAINIAC and pass the donations ‘round
Hermie’s got cuts
Hermie’s got cuts
Red in the middle but she’s got dumb coasts
Red in the middle but she’s got dumb coasts
Red in the middle but she’s got dumb coasts
Red in the middle but she’s got dumb coasts