Just when you don’t think that things can get any less interesting in the Hermit Kingdom, something like this pops up.

Is Kim Jong-il for real? The question has baffled foreign intelligence agencies for years but now a veteran Japanese expert on North Korea says the “dear leader” is actually dead – and his role is played by a double.

The expert says Kim died of diabetes in 2003 and world leaders including Vladimir Putin of Russia and Hu Jintao of China have been negotiating with an impostor.

Anyone who is familiar with the history of North Korea knows that the leadership is extremely secretive. It has to be in order to maintain control of a few dozen million starving people through propaganda and fifties-style military deployment. Still, it would take some balls to have been playing ‘Weekend at Bernie’s’ since way back when we first lumped those Stalinist murderers in the now infamous Axis of Evil.

Official Unaltered photo by the North Korean Public Relations Desk proving that Kim Jong-il is alive and kicking.

Despite what the article says about this theory being harrumphed at by the experts, I wouldn’t put it past the North. After all, do you really expect to be dealt with from the top of the deck when one of the country’s most stable sources of income is the counterfeiting of U.S. currency for drug smuggling? I think the real question is who is pulling the strings now, if they do indeed have a Kim muppet wandering on stage every few months? There were stories a few years back about his picture being taken down in some of the secretive official buildings and palaces, but I never heard anything else of it.

Are we on the third generation of Kims now? Has there been a successful coup with a shy leader? Are the North Koreans so used to their tag-team divinely inspired duo of past leaders that they will never be able to shake some of the absolutely stunningly stupid propaganda that the Kims have been pumping out since they gained power? Only time will tell.

Oh, and how’s that diplomacy working out for everyone? I heard the North is cracked IAEA seals and reopening the publicly acknowledged nuclear program sites despite our best talky-talk. What does Barack Obama have to say about that?

I miss John Bolton.

If you’ve watched any of the mainstream media coverage of the campaign since the Palin pick, which we can now comfortably call D-Day, the first day that Obama’s campaign truly knew it faced defeat, then you know that they really have no idea how to cover her. Extend this truth out to Democrats at large and you’ve seen the Clinton’s kitchen sink attack strategy from the primaries hauled out on stage and then reluctantly put away without so much as a shrimp fork finding its mark in the Alaskan vixen’s hide. They just don’t know what to do.

Democrats have been programmed for so long to curry favor with females in a position of power because of the perceived (and often projected) sense of sexism that they believe America runs on. Now that there is a woman poised to take a position of real power in this country they can’t bring themselves to give her even a crumb of the respect that they throw toward any other lesser female candidate or officeholder without reservation because that might put a quick-to-widen crack in the Democratic Party’s planned November victory. Instead of exploratory stories weighing Palin’s pros and cons, I wouldn’t even dare to dream for a puff piece or two of the caliber that Obama has enjoyed for years now, we’re treated to tabloid trash about her daughter’s pregnancy and out loud pontifications as to whether a mother of five could handle the pressure of the Vice Presidency without finding her children to be guests on the Jerry Springer show by the end of her first term. We’re told that McCain had to pick her… or he will be imminently dumping her.

And by pouncing as eagerly and as cynically as they did right off the bat, the mainstream media lost the one thing they usually keep well under their thumb: the narrative. It’s a free for all on daytime cable TV. We’ve got Dems backpedaling, checkout counter mags begging people to stay, shameless hosts hiding, polls plummeting, cats and dogs living together, conspiracy theorists going back to controlled demolition, TV records being smashed, and newspapers censoring themselves.

It’s going to be a fun couple of days (I’m not going to jinx it by assuming weeks) until they get a handle on how to attack our new favorite Moose Slayer. Keep it coming. In the meantime, we’ll just sit back and let those who haven’t been paying attention yet get a good gander at what real change looks like. As much as we don’t like to acknowledge it, McCain does stand for change and bipartisanship, for better or worse, and Palin as proven herself as a force to be reckoned with. She won my vote just by confusing the hell out of the drive-by goofs.

Well, that and the whole shooting things with high-powered rifles. And the domestic oil drilling. And the fact that she didn’t get her fame through a spouse. And the family dedication bit. And the… well, you get the picture.

Oh, and lest we forget, she also managed to give a good slap to the historical value of Hillary’s entire campaign. I’d better stop before I start blubbering.

I don’t think that even the most devoted of Republican spinmeisters would argue that John McCain can hold a candle to his newly adored VP pick in delivery of prepared remarks. Of course, McCain didn’t have it easy to begin with on this particular outing. While Palin’s explosion onto the national stage effective castrated any lingering bedroom cuddle talk between the Dems and the MSM, it also overshadowed the man at the top of the ticket. With some 40 million viewers already having tuned in to get their fill of Republican party antics earlier this week with the Barracuda, did we really expect for the Maverick to be able to rev up the same kind of enthusiasm that a fresh face (who is being compared to no less than Reagan after only two major speeches!) could generate?

The answer is clearly no, but I was still underwhelmed by McCain’s delivery. Between being clearly startled by the code pink intrusions and muddled applause lines, our Maverick just seemed to be plodding along. I didn’t see any fire. I didn’t hear the hatred that he must have for pork barrel spending and Washington politics given what I know of his history and the lengths that he has gone to try to ‘clean up’ the political process, which unfortunately includes violating the constitution with trash like McCain-Feingold. I wish I could say that something else particularly strong stuck with me, but really that’s all that I can come up with.

If I had to pick something positive, I suppose that coming in at a close second behind his general unease was the passion he managed in the last moments of his speech. That modifier ‘last’ being the key term here. When the crowd was roaring, be it in preplanned bursts of applause or not, McCain managed to ramble through a rallying battle cry- no less than a sincere invitation to join his campaign as his ‘friend’ -that actually seemed to come from the heart. I know that he isn’t comfortable with teleprompter deliveries, but it’s going to take the glint of dignity, honor, authority, and compassion that he found in those final moments to defeat the gimmicky ‘hope’ that Obama will no doubt offer up in the three scheduled debates.

The party is over, you scored big with your VP, so get with it Maverick. The Straight Talk Express is fueled up with super unleaded, the good stuff straight from Alaska, ready to go. See you in November.

More analysis and remarks from around the blogosphere. Excellence only: Hot Air | Michelle Malkin | Flopping Aces | FullosseousFlap | Sister Toldjah | Ace of Spades HQ |

As everyone waits for Sarah Palin’s speech tonight as the presumptive Republican vice-presidential nominee to begin, expectations are mixed. I’ve heard some conservatives hoping for a soft-spoken inspirational speech in the vein of that puff-piece footage that the Democrats ran ahead of Barry’s inaugural address, while others are hoping for a hard-hitting speech deserving of the nickname “barracuda”. (For some real pre-speech wackiness, see Hot Air’s ‘The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly’) Also, at her main site Michelle Malkin is liveblogging.

That in itself brings a whole other level to the debate. How is that the media has legitimized direct comparisons of the experience level between a vice-presidential nominee and a party’s presidential pick without noting that there is a huge difference between those at the top of the ticket and those attached. Obama’s experience is so pathetic and lacking that those in the liberal-leaning mainstream media must bypass the extensive experience (both foreign policy and legislative) of the actual Republican presidential candidate in order to try to validate the nonexistent accomplishments of their own candidate.

But enough about the Messiah… Palin will deliver an excellent address, I’m sure of it, and I would also wager that we’ll be getting plenty of red meat from the conservative base’s new hero. As much as I prefer Romney, I don’t believe that one of the established runner-ups could have united the party so easily or quickly. We needed the injection of fresh blood after the months it has taken to recover from the queasiness that we all felt after the maverick came out on top. Palin has nothing to fear from her audience at home on the couch tonight or on the convention floor. After all, you don’t go dropping moose in the wild without getting a thick enough skin to command respect from the party of Charlton Heston.

Given how quick it was for a loony lefty like Oliver Stone to cinematize Dubya, I’m already casting the movie version of this historic event in my mind.

Oh yeah.

There’s a lot of speculation over who will be on the bottom of the ticket that any reasonable American will be pulling the lever for in November. We won’t have to wait long now, but as with any good race, the turns get particularly sharp toward the finish. While there are rumors that Romney is now out of the running, and thankfully no hope for Huck, I propose something a little more “unconventional” to really spice up the Republican National Convention next week because let’s face it, they just don’t have anything lined up that will rival the spectacle that we’ve witnessed from the Democrats over the last four nights.

A lot of Republicans are still unimpressed with our pick, though we’ve admittedly warmed up to the idea of voting for our Maverick thanks to the constant Obama sensory onslaught. McCain can go a step further than simply satisfying the base with a pro-life pick, he can energize them! All he has to do is trust his gut and pick the man that he trusts most for the post… himself.

By stepping down from the top of the ticket, McCain will score ‘maverick’ points with two parties. He’ll find new favor and respect among the party faithful as well as satisfy the MSM, who have recently turned against him. Come to think of it, he’ll actually be satisfying three parties. We’ve known for a while now that McCain was flirting with the idea of having a Democrat on the ticket… and let’s face it, Johnny isn’t exactly the die-hard conservative in the Reagan model to begin with. By putting himself on the bottom, McCain can have the best of both worlds. A moderate on the bottom and a true conservative on the top. It will make for a level of ‘bipartisan cooperation’ that he hasn’t seen since the Gang of 14 or McCain–Feingold. Those worked out so well for him, didn’t they?

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, you’ve no doubt already heard how our good buddy the Messiah will be accepting his party’s nomination in style tonight, albeit a few millennia old in the fashion department, and that the bright minds behind this set decoration are none other than those who have designed for other great celebrities like Britney Spears. But remember, the Messiah (hallowed be thy name) isn’t just some vapid suit propping up his lack of message with fancy dressings like the pantheon… He’ll probably have fireworks, too.

In any case, Neocon News is pleased to provide you with an exclusive look at the original design plans for tonight’s festivites! These plans for the 2008 Democratic National Convention are rumored to have been written by a seven year old Barack Obama during the more boring parts of his State Senate career, it isn’t hard to see that what Barry lacks in experience, he makes up for in ambition.

While Newsweek is finally catching on to the KGB-iness of our good buddy Vlad, I thought that it was odd that none of the professional pundits have caught on to what seems to be the most obvious of all his inspirations.

Don’t think that this will be settling down anytime soon. Putin isn’t going anywhere. He’s just managed to carve himself a fresh chunk of new land for Mother Russia. Never mind that he’s performing a vivisection on a newborn Democracy. There’s a few more pounds of fresh meat left, even if it is a little tangy.

Update: Hot Air links to on the ground analysis of this little mess, which is far too quickly becoming a distant memory in the news headlines. (Surprise: Russia was the instigator after all)

Watching the McCain campaign edge closer and closer toward the convention can be frustrating. For every step forward that we get, such as his modification of his domestic drilling agenda, we also are greeted by two shambling ‘maverick’ steps backward with stories like this.

Top aides to Joseph Lieberman have reached out to former staffers in recent days with “substantive questions” about the issue areas they worked on while working for the Connecticut senator, according to a source close to Lieberman…

Without saying definitively that the information-gathering was being done to share with McCain’s campaign, this source said “it would be unusual if not in the context of being vetted.”

I won’t bother typing out a few lavish paragraphs reiterating how much I respect Joe Lieberman on issues such as national security and foreign policy. It goes without saying that the vast majority of conservatives have a soft spot for good old Joe. Nevertheless, on everything else he is liberal, which might explain why he ran as their vice presidential candidate eight years ago. Even the hint that McCain, who hasn’t done himself too much to endear himself to the conservative base, would consider someone so obviously meant to attract further democrat voters at the expense of the party principles is highly disturbing.

It shows us what a McCain administration will be like.

It shows us why this election truly will be a referendum on Barack Obama because deep down, John McCain has little to offer in the way of conservative advancement.

And if McCain thinks that Tom Ridge will be softer to swallow, he’ll face a sobering November surprise.

With Obama promising hardball, I’m afraid that the ‘high road’ approach that our favorite maverick is going to play is like dressing up as Teddy Roosevelt for a costume contest when the guy next door is decked out as the Predator, complete with flashing lights. It’s the phonograph fighting the ipod. It just won’t get the job done.

Hopefully desperation will breed clearer thinking in republican strategy.

A lot is being made of the McCain camp’s recent forays into humor as a means of political attack. I’ve heard many of the mainstream media correspondents decry it, I’ve heard Rush Limbaugh praise it, and I’ve read Dick Morris dismiss it. If you’ve spent ten minutes looking around Neocon News, you know that I believe that humor (however poorly executed) is massively effective as a tool of persuasion. In the same way that a picture is worth a thousand words, a well resonating jab tinged with a bit of a chuckle behind it can cut to the core of our public.

The most often quoted example from the political front is Reagan’s reversal of the accusations that he was unfit to be President based on his advanced age. While this is an excellent example, I don’t believe that it is worth dredging up again and again as it was a singular event not to be repeated until we find another conservative leader with charisma to rival the Gipper (read: don’t hold your breath).

Is McCain capable of powering his punches with the same level of savviness? Apparently not.

“We’ll continue to have humor in our campaigns,” McCain said. “Those ads really were focused on two things.  They were focused on the fact that Sen. Obama wants to raise taxes, and I’m opposed of it.  And he opposes an energy policy which would work, including offshore drilling.  So the message there is there’re stark differences between myself and Sen. Obama.”

But McCain wasn’t done joking, either.

“I kind of enjoy ‘em,” McCain said of the ads. “You gotta have a sense of humor in this.

“You know, a few days ago, Sen. Obama said he challenged me to a duel,” McCain said. “I’m for the light sabers as weapons of choice.”

Now, do I find that comment funny in the least? No, I don’t. I think it’s tired and it makes my head hurt. It’s almost as forced and dated as his continuous ‘Dr. No’ references, but it does show promise. It’s the second time in as many weeks that we’ve seen the Republican party try to connect with the electorate on a personal level. Even if the jokes are bad, it helps to peel a little away from that predictable ’stuffy’ Republican brand image.

If the trend continues, they might even start consulting with people who can be marginally amusing. Hell, I’m available.

So I say full speed ahead for the Straight Talk Express Blue Collar Comedy Tour. We’ve got a few months left for McCain to practice. He might even get some references from the 90s by the time November rolls around.

At least it’ll keep him on his toes. Camp McCain might even stumble back across a winning issue or two.